Come learn research-based skills with Jacob Spillman, LMFT to strengthen your relationship and create a marriage that feels good.

Three-part series :  Sundays, February 2, 16 and 23 at Portland Kollel.

Week 1: Welcome to Your Yetzer HaRa 

The Yetzer HaRa resides in the animal soul. From a research-based perspective on brain function and physiology, we will explore specific techniques to domesticate the animal soul through the crucible of marriage, all within a traditional Jewish framework. Additionally, we will discuss how emotional flooding disrupts communication and damages relationships, and provide practical strategies to diffuse anger and prevent emotional flooding during conflicts. 

Week 2: Why Couples Argue About the Same Thing All the Time 

This lecture will delve into how negative emotional override develops in a marriage and the ways it perpetuates unproductive cycles of conflict. Drawing on a Torah perspective and Gottman Family Techniques, we will explore methods to break these negative patterns, foster mutual understanding, and nourish the relationship while avoiding or neutralizing recurring arguments. 

Week 3: Rituals

We will explore how couples can enhance their friendship, emotional intimacy, and sense of shared meaning by reexamining old, habitual rituals that drain the emotional energy of the relationship. Together, we will learn how to establish new, meaningful rituals that strengthen the emotional bank and deepen the bond between partners. 

About the Speaker - Jacob Spilman is a retired psychotherapist with over 40 years of experience working in the field of mental health. Now an author, he writes on the intersection of psychology and Judaism.